Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
