i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
