Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Boobs speak an international language.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The power of my boobs compel you
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
