Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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