Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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