I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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