And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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