why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
