Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
