but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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