i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
