I think im going to throw up on grandma
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
