Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
