it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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