The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
