Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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