this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
