Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
This house was built for laser tag.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My dick has a subreddit
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
