Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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