I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
