Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
