he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
