i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
