either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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