Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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