cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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