I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
