3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
