Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
