So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
