She's JV to your varsity
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
