Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Randomize
