My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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