id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
