Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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