Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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