Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
