mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
