I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
