Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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