haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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