i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
