We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
