I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
