Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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