I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
