i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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