So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
