weddingsv make me drug and hornr
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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