so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
