i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
